Buying their love: Spoiling children post-divorce

Couples that decide to end their marriage will undoubtedly feel the physical, mental, and emotional stresses that ensue. However, there are also others who must live with the repercussions of the split: the children.

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Divorce has significant effects on children. A study shows that apart from the trauma caused by seeing their parents fight, conflicts between parents cause children to be emotionally insecure when they reach adolescence. Moreover, it is believed that people with divorced parents are more likely to get divorced in the future.

Because of these long-term effects on the children, it is natural for either parent to overcompensate by spoiling them with material things. Though it may seem reasonable, it could actually do more harm than good for both the parent and child.

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Take, for instance, this scenario: A recently divorced mother who has always been a smart spender suddenly becomes an impulsive shopper just to get her children’s approval. Eventually, she struggles to pay her bills and her children have gotten used to their mom buying them whatever they want.

When parents are faced with this kind of situation, Suzanna de Baca of The Huffington Post suggests they reduce their spending. There is nothing wrong with buying gifts for the kids as long as not everything is a splurge. Not doing so would only make the children expect more until there comes a point that parents can no longer meet their expectations.

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Reducing spending can also teach the children about financial responsibility. They will realize that they have to work hard to get what they want and that other people’s affections cannot be bought.

Michael Kelly is a family law attorney and heads Kelly, Fernandez & Karney, the oldest and largest family law firm in Santa Monica, California. This Facebook page provides more links to articles on divorce and family.

Divorced and unbankable: Celebrities who went broke after divorce

Bankruptcy can happen to anyone at any time. For some people, insolvency could happen after an emotionally charged divorce as what these following celebrities have experienced:

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Dennis Hopper –While his daughter inherited almost $3 million dollars of his wealth, what came before that were a messy divorce with Victoria Duffy, a declaration of bankruptcy, and a sad battle with prostate cancer, which he lost in 2010 while still in the process of divorcing his wife. His liquid assets were estimated to be $300,280 plus the $10,900 from his corporations.

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Brigitte Nielsen – Fans thought that she received a fortune out of her divorce from Sylvester Stallone, but fact is, she pocketed almost nothing. Now in her fifth marriage, the former Hollywood ‘glamazon’ had fallen into a downward spiral, photographed once in a Los Angeles park looking like a hopeless alcoholic.

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Brandi Glanville – After splitting from Eddie Cibrian, the mother of two claimed that she had a measly income, barely enough to rent a car or lease a house. The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills star said that she was still building her credit during the split.

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Mike Tyson – Uncontrolled spending habits had put the famous boxer in dire financial straits. He declared bankruptcy in 2003 after failing to pay Monica Turner, his ex-wife, the $10 million he owed her.

While divorce is an emotionally charged case, divorce attorneys like Michael Kelly and Steven Fernandez say that parties should never allow their emotions to get in the way of the proceedings. They must also consider their financial resources, think about the possibility of mediation, and understand their emotions, among others, because there’s too much at stake.

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Optimism in the time of adversity: The benefits of collaborative family law

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Family law specialists would know of the gravity and depth of family law matters, particularly of separation. This is why lawyers would attempt to put erring parties on a common ground and aim for a settlement outside of court whenever possible. The Collaborative Family Law (CFL) is built upon this parcel. The Collaborative Law Network defines CFL as a “dignified, cooperative approach to negotiating and settling the issues arising from a family separation outside of court.”

 

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Through CFL, the hostilities involved in marital dissolution proceedings are avoided and both parties negotiate their outstanding issues in a controlled and respectful informal meeting also known as the ‘four-way meeting.’ Divorce attorneys would act as communication and negotiation counsel for their clients in each meeting. Acting as coaches, the lawyers focus solely on the settlement without pushing their clients to go to court. Everyone involved in the process are committed to forging a fair, satisfying, and stable legal agreement.

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Other key advantages of CFL include the following:

• There is a cooperative approach to resolving issues.
• The client is in control of the proceedings.
• Parties negotiate issues without constant court threats.
• The lawyers commit themselves to the collaborative process, helping parties resolve problems without going to court.
• The procedure is less time consuming, less stressful, and less expensive than court proceedings.



Attorney Michael Kelly is among the well-respected divorce lawyers in California. He currently heads Kelly, Fernandez & Karney, the oldest and largest family law firm in Santa Monica. To learn more about family law, visit www.kfkfamilylaw.com.

From marital bliss to estrangement: The realities of irreconcilable differences

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As experts in family law would observe, filing for divorce in California has never been easier since it’s a ‘no-fault divorce’ state.

California stipulates two substantial reasons to end a marriage: irreconcilable differences and incurable insanity.

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While incurable insanity is rarely used, irreconcilable differences are more common in that all it takes is for one spouse to throw in the towel into the marriage. In a ‘no-fault divorce,’ the spouse could just declare incompatibility and file for divorce without having to prove that the other party has committed any wrongdoing. Then the court will determine if the grounds are “substantial reasons for not continuing the marriage and which makes it appear that the marriage should be dissolved.”


Family law specialists would see that the issue of irreconcilable differences is often driven by the tabloid portrayal of celebrity couples which makes it something that people can get away with easily. Fact is, the drama of divorce due to irreconcilable differences extends beyond the courtroom into the way couples view their significant others and themselves as someone worth keeping.

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The issue of divorce due to irreconcilable differences is a very serious matter. It’s when couples reach the end of their emotional rope and run out of energy to make the marriage work. In trying moments like this, couples need a lawyer who understands how emotionally charged the case is and who’s willing to help them get back to life.


Michael Kelly is among the esteemed family law experts in California. He is part of Kelly, Fernandez & Karney, the largest family law firm in Santa Monica. To learn more about the divorce laws in California, visit www.kfkfamilylaw.com.