REPOST: Australia's divorce rates: the real statistics

This article from The Guardian reveals the real deal on the current divorce rates in Australia.

New figures show a big increase in people divorcing after 20 years or more of marriage. But it's not as big as some would have you believe.

New figures from the Australian Institute of Family Studies have shown a big increase in people divorcing after 20 years or more of marriage. However, it's not exactly as big as some media outlets would lead you to believe as most publications got the numbers wrong.

'Rate of divorce after 20 years of marriage doubles', according to one story. And 'Parents wait until children go, then do the same thing' from another.

The headline statistic is that people are waiting longer to divorce. This is based on an analysis of the proportion of marriages lasting 20 years or over before ending in divorce. A media release from the AIFS put this figure at 13% in 1990 and 28% in 2011, which many people erroneously reported.

However, the actual report shows 20.2% in 1990 to 27.6% in 2011. The same figure for 'final separation' is 13% to 18.3%. They've mixed up the separation and divorce numbers. There's actually a much more mild 7.4% increase between 1990 and 2011. So we are seeing an increase in the duration of marriages that end in divorce, just not quite as much as all that.

Image Source: guardian.co.uk

So, what are the other trends coming out of this new report?

You're more likely to get divorced when you're younger.

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And of younger people who are married, women are more likely to experience divorce than men. In fact the rates of divorce are higher for women than men up until the 40-44 age bracket, where men then have higher rates up to 65 and over, likely due to an overall tendency for men in marriages to be older, and women younger. The AIFS report also suggests older men have a higher tendency to remarry than older women.

Divorce is down, and has been for a while.

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From 2007-2011 the rate per 1000 people has stayed around 2.2 and 2.3. This is down from 2.9 in 1996, and very far down from the biggest peak of 4.9 in 1976 after the Family Law Act 1975 came into effect.
The age that people get divorced has increased dramatically.

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The median age of divorce for men is at the highest its been since 1970, with 44.5 in 2011. Women are similarly high at 41.7. This is up from a historical low of 35 and 33 for men and women respectively in 1980.

Divorces that involve children are decreasing too, which the AIFS suggests means people actually are staying together for the sake of the kids. This fits with the increase in the proportion of longer marriages ending in divorce we saw above.

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The report also highlights the relative instability of people who are unmarried, but living together, versus married couples. Citing numbers from the Growing Up In Australia report - for infants who were living with married parents in 2004, 12% were with only one parent by 2010. The same figure for unmarried couples cohabiting is 27%, suggesting unmarried couples are more than twice as likely to break up.


Atty. Michael Kelly currently heads Kelly, Fernandez and Karney, the largest family law firm in Santa Monica, California. Visit this website to learn more about divorce.

Secret assets and divorce

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Divorce can hurt one’s pockets in more ways than one. Although illegal, hiding the real value of one’s assets remains as one of the most utilized ways to save money. However, the practice can have serious repercussions, and may actually place the erring party in a worse financial situation.

Upon marriage, both husband and wife are required by law to reveal the extent and value of their properties, especially if they are combining their assets. But not everyone complies with the rules. In some instances, one or both parties use tricks to lie about the real value of their properties.

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Admittedly, this can pose certain advantages especially to men when their marriage does not fare well and ends up in divorce. Husbands typically shoulder child support and may even be required by the court to pay alimony. These can cause havoc to one’s financial resources. A husband who has not disclosed the entirety of his assets is entitled to resources that he is not mandated to give away post-divorce.

The practice breaks the oath represented by the Financial Affidavit signed during marriage. A person proved to have falsely disclosed assets may face punishment during the divorce. The punishment can range from being required to shoulder the other party’s legal fees to being incarcerated. Needless to say, the punishment will depend on which state the offence was committed.

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The adage that proclaims honesty as the best policy will never get old because of practices like this. Siding with the law is best, especially in matters involving finance, as illegal practices that promise gains may actually yield nothing but losses.


Michael Kelly is an attorney based in California. He heads Kelly, Fernandez & Karney, a firm composed of experts in divorce and family law. The firm’s official website offers information about how its lawyers can help you.

Why the world is hooked on American celebrity divorce

There’s a commonly cited statistic claiming that a third of all marriages end in divorce. While that may have been true at one period in the past, there are no actual studies that currently prove the claim. While America does see a significantly higher number of divorce cases per year than in most countries where such separation is legal, the figures must be put into perspective: America’s divorce rate is the sixth-highest in the world, but that actually only comes to three divorced couples per population of 1,000.

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In the limelight
What puts the spotlight on American divorces is Hollywood. Through the global distribution of film rights and TV program franchises, America’s celebrities have undeniably become the most well-known personalities worldwide. Unfortunately, this makes them an unintentional reflection of the entire population. In Hollywood, the divorce rate is exceptionally high, and marriages are commonly short-lived, with some lasting a mere 72 days. While this does not represent majority of divorce cases, it significantly affects the reputation of marriage in America through the years.

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The reality is that there is money to be made in divorce. Though the list of celebrities who lost all their money after divorce would beg to differ, it is evident from magazine sales that the “true story” behind each split sells for millions. Perhaps, it really does because celebrity divorce cases are so radical that they continue to retain such intrigue.

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Even though they are highly publicized, celebrity divorce cases receive no special treatment under the law. Michael Kelly, an attorney, specializes in family law and litigation for clients across a range of industries and visibility levels. Read more about his work on this website.

REPOST: When a Divorce Makes a Better Dad

Divorce is hardly positive, or rather, it is hardly shown and seen in a positive light.  This article from the New York Times, written by a father, does otherwise, and is actually great for fathers who are uncertain about the possible impacts of divorce on their family.

Divorce stinks. Don’t get me wrong. The excruciating pain of leaving your child on Mom’s doorstep, of missing holidays and first steps, of having to schedule visitation are nothing to sign up for unless there is no other choice. My divorce involved the kind of pain that makes you think walking in front of a train would be a piece of cake if not for your responsibilities. But buried deep within that pain is a silver lining — a motivation, an aspiration, a hands-on learning — that “normal” dads don’t get.

My son was 6 months old and my daughter was 2 when I moved into a furnished rental with shag rugs, the permanent smell of Chinese food and a commanding view, through cracked Plexiglas, of Route 95 in Providence, R.I. My time with Kerry and Seamus was limited to trips to McDonald’s and a walk across the highway to Federal Hill for pizza a couple of times a week. But even that was progress. I had been an absent dad up until that point, working nonstop. And when I wasn’t working, I was drinking and getting into trouble. I was 31 going on about 14.

Six months into our divorce, the children’s mom moved back to Boston and I followed to be near my kids. I found a cocoon of an apartment, set way up high on the interior of a block away from noise and people, to transform myself. On the seventh floor, I looked through a bay window at the brownstones below and the gold dome of the Statehouse in the distance and tried to figure out what I had done to deserve so much suffering. In the morning I would meditate while the sun shined in my face. At night I would watch the orange sunset reflect off the Hancock tower.

It was in that apartment, on the corner of Massachusetts and Commonwealth Avenues, that I learned how to be a dad. Or I unlearned how not to be a dad. I believe that we all instinctively know how to love our children as fathers. But we just have to forget everything we have been told and allow intuition to take over.

The first time my kids spent the night with me was a pivotal moment in my life. I had bought bunk beds and a matching toy chest for them. But Seamus was still too small to sleep outside his crib, so I set up a Pack ‘n Play in my room. That night I rocked my boy to sleep feeding him a bottle. The smell of him stuck in my nostrils. His soft skin soothed my soul as he made his little gulps. Slowly his body went limp. I looked down and realized that everything I had ever wanted was right there in my arms.

For two years I didn’t have a job. I went from corporate titan to sitting on the floor with Seamus on my lap surrounded by mothers and toddlers singing silly songs. The S.A.H.D. (Stay at Home Dad) had yet to become commonplace, so the mothers on the playground initially looked at me with some skepticism. But when they saw how passionately I chased my kids around the play structures, they grudgingly accepted me as just another diaper-changing parent.

I pushed a big double stroller all over town. On some rainy days we would go to the top of the Prudential tower just to have something to do, even though we couldn’t see a darn thing. The kids would run laps and jump off the bright colored furniture while I kept clear of the windows, where my severe fear of heights would have kicked in. Gradually I learned to be a dad, and a good one at that.

For six years I was on my own with two little children for long stretches of time: wrestling, crying, laughing, cooking, cleaning, traveling to visit family, throwing up (a lot), and cuddling them into bed only to come back later and look in wonder at the angels who had transformed me.

Kerry is now a freshman in college and Seamus a junior in high school. I’ve been remarried for 10 years and have a 7-year-old, Cole, to fill out our brood. Divorce was the worst thing that ever happened to me. But it was also the best thing for me as a father. 

Kelly, Fernandez & Karney is composed of experts who can answer further questions about divorce and how it can affect the whole family.  This website contains more information about the firm's services.

Buying their love: Spoiling children post-divorce

Couples that decide to end their marriage will undoubtedly feel the physical, mental, and emotional stresses that ensue. However, there are also others who must live with the repercussions of the split: the children.

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Divorce has significant effects on children. A study shows that apart from the trauma caused by seeing their parents fight, conflicts between parents cause children to be emotionally insecure when they reach adolescence. Moreover, it is believed that people with divorced parents are more likely to get divorced in the future.

Because of these long-term effects on the children, it is natural for either parent to overcompensate by spoiling them with material things. Though it may seem reasonable, it could actually do more harm than good for both the parent and child.

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Take, for instance, this scenario: A recently divorced mother who has always been a smart spender suddenly becomes an impulsive shopper just to get her children’s approval. Eventually, she struggles to pay her bills and her children have gotten used to their mom buying them whatever they want.

When parents are faced with this kind of situation, Suzanna de Baca of The Huffington Post suggests they reduce their spending. There is nothing wrong with buying gifts for the kids as long as not everything is a splurge. Not doing so would only make the children expect more until there comes a point that parents can no longer meet their expectations.

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Reducing spending can also teach the children about financial responsibility. They will realize that they have to work hard to get what they want and that other people’s affections cannot be bought.

Michael Kelly is a family law attorney and heads Kelly, Fernandez & Karney, the oldest and largest family law firm in Santa Monica, California. This Facebook page provides more links to articles on divorce and family.

Divorced and unbankable: Celebrities who went broke after divorce

Bankruptcy can happen to anyone at any time. For some people, insolvency could happen after an emotionally charged divorce as what these following celebrities have experienced:

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Dennis Hopper –While his daughter inherited almost $3 million dollars of his wealth, what came before that were a messy divorce with Victoria Duffy, a declaration of bankruptcy, and a sad battle with prostate cancer, which he lost in 2010 while still in the process of divorcing his wife. His liquid assets were estimated to be $300,280 plus the $10,900 from his corporations.

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Brigitte Nielsen – Fans thought that she received a fortune out of her divorce from Sylvester Stallone, but fact is, she pocketed almost nothing. Now in her fifth marriage, the former Hollywood ‘glamazon’ had fallen into a downward spiral, photographed once in a Los Angeles park looking like a hopeless alcoholic.

Image Source: gossipbeast.com


Brandi Glanville – After splitting from Eddie Cibrian, the mother of two claimed that she had a measly income, barely enough to rent a car or lease a house. The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills star said that she was still building her credit during the split.

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Mike Tyson – Uncontrolled spending habits had put the famous boxer in dire financial straits. He declared bankruptcy in 2003 after failing to pay Monica Turner, his ex-wife, the $10 million he owed her.

While divorce is an emotionally charged case, divorce attorneys like Michael Kelly and Steven Fernandez say that parties should never allow their emotions to get in the way of the proceedings. They must also consider their financial resources, think about the possibility of mediation, and understand their emotions, among others, because there’s too much at stake.

This website offers more information about family law.

Optimism in the time of adversity: The benefits of collaborative family law

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Family law specialists would know of the gravity and depth of family law matters, particularly of separation. This is why lawyers would attempt to put erring parties on a common ground and aim for a settlement outside of court whenever possible. The Collaborative Family Law (CFL) is built upon this parcel. The Collaborative Law Network defines CFL as a “dignified, cooperative approach to negotiating and settling the issues arising from a family separation outside of court.”

 

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Through CFL, the hostilities involved in marital dissolution proceedings are avoided and both parties negotiate their outstanding issues in a controlled and respectful informal meeting also known as the ‘four-way meeting.’ Divorce attorneys would act as communication and negotiation counsel for their clients in each meeting. Acting as coaches, the lawyers focus solely on the settlement without pushing their clients to go to court. Everyone involved in the process are committed to forging a fair, satisfying, and stable legal agreement.

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Other key advantages of CFL include the following:

• There is a cooperative approach to resolving issues.
• The client is in control of the proceedings.
• Parties negotiate issues without constant court threats.
• The lawyers commit themselves to the collaborative process, helping parties resolve problems without going to court.
• The procedure is less time consuming, less stressful, and less expensive than court proceedings.



Attorney Michael Kelly is among the well-respected divorce lawyers in California. He currently heads Kelly, Fernandez & Karney, the oldest and largest family law firm in Santa Monica. To learn more about family law, visit www.kfkfamilylaw.com.